What's with Fast Food Joints and Hot Dogs?

I mean, fast food places have practically taken over the hamburger in the public's lives and minds. Yet hot dogs, which are just as cheap, popular, and bad for you, are never sold at places like McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's.

The closest I can come to a conclusive answer derives from a McDonald's summer promotion in which it offered a hot dog combo meal. Even then, I had the title question in my mind, and thought maybe this would be the Big Event that changed everything, and soon Mayor McCheese would be joined by Alderman Weiner, with BK and W following soon after.

But no, after a few months the hot dogs were gone, ne'er to return.

One reason might be that people can get hot dogs at other places and don't care if McDonald's offered one. A Big Mac, whatever you may think of it, tastes a bit different from anything else in the world, but anyone can make a hot dog - 7/11, your local ballfield, the pushcart vendor, even your microwave.

The other is toppings. As they do with all their sandwiches, McDonald's provided all the toppings on the hot dogs. I believe it was a combo of mustard, ketchup, and relish. I definitely wanted to try the McDonald's Hot Dog, if only for historical purposes, but I decided years ago I only like mustard on my hot dogs. A little ketchup might be okay, but no way was I taking any relish on it.

And that's where hot dog eaters draw the line. Hot dogs may be the cheapest heated meat thingie on the face of the earth, but dammit, people want to pick their own toppings for them.